Message-Id: <4.3.2.7.0.20000818192813.00afae70@mail.subdimension.com> X-Sender: matt DOT l AT mail DOT subdimension DOT com X-Mailer: QUALCOMM Windows Eudora Version 4.3.2 Date: Fri, 18 Aug 2000 19:29:50 -0700 To: djgpp AT delorie DOT com From: Matt Lewandowsky Subject: Fwd: OT: Friday humor Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain Reply-To: djgpp AT delorie DOT com -----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE----- Hash: SHA1 OK. I'm unsure if it's allowed to post humor from other lists, but I felt this was appropriate. At least to me, it sounds familiar... - --Matt (please don't hurt me) >x-mailer: Claris Emailer 1.1 >Approved-By: Cindy Fisher >Date: Fri, 18 Aug 2000 19:51:13 -0700 >Reply-To: Forum for folks with companion rabbits >Sender: Forum for folks with companion rabbits >From: Cindy Fisher >Subject: OT: Friday humor >Comments: To: susan , Helen , > Twila , Chris >To: PETBUNNY AT lsv DOT uky DOT edu >X-Delivery: Mail.com IDA 1.11 > >1. In the beginning GOD created the Bit and the Byte. And from those he >created the Word. > >2. And there were two Bytes in the Word; and nothing else existed. And God >separated the One from the Zero; and he saw it was good. > >3. And God said - Let the Data be; And so it happened. And God said-Let >the Data go to their proper places. And he created floppy disks and hard >disks and compact disks. > >4. And God said - Let the computers be, so there would be a place to put >floppy disks and hard disks and compact disks. Thus God created computers >and called them hardware. > >5. And there was no Software yet. But God created programs; small and >big... And told them - Go and multiply yourselves and fill all the Memory. > >6. And God said -I will create the Programmer; And the Programmer will >make new programs and govern over the computers and programs and Data. > >7. And God created the Programmer; and put him at Data Center; And God >showed the Programmer the Catalog Tree and said You can use all the >volumes and subvolumes but DO NOT USE Windows. > >8. And God said - It is not Good for the programmer to be alone. He took a >bone from the Programmer's body and created a creature that would look up >at the Programmer; and admire the Programmer; and love the things the >Programmer does; And God called the creature: the User. > >9. And the Programmer and the User were left under the naked DOS and it >was Good. > >10. But Bill was smarter than all the other creatures of God. And Bill >said to the User - Did God really tell you not to run any programs? > >11. And the User answered - God told us that we can use every program and >every piece of Data but told us not to run Windows or we will die. > >12. And Bill said to the User - How can you talk about something you did >not even try? The moment you run Windows you will become equal to God. You >will be able to create anything you like by a simple click of your mouse. > >13. And the User saw that the fruits of the Windows were nicer and easier >to use. And the User saw that any knowledge was useless - since Windows >could replace it. > >14. So the User installed the Windows on his computer; and said to the >Programmer that it was good. > >15. And the Programmer immediately started to look for new drivers. And >God asked him - What are you looking for? And the Programmer answered - I >am looking for new drivers because I can not find them in the DOS. And >God >said - Who told you you need drivers? Did you run Windows? And the >Programmer said - It was Bill who told us to! > >16. And God said to Bill - Because of what you did you will be hated by >all the creatures. And the User will always be unhappy with you. And you >will always sell Windows. > >17. And God said to the User - Because of what you did, the Windows will >disappoint you and eat up all your Resources; and you will have to use >lousy programs; and you will always rely on the Programmer's help. > >18. And God said to the Programmer - Because you listened to the User you >will never be happy. All your programs will have errors and you will have >to fix them and fix them to the end of time. > >19. And God threw them out of the Data Center and locked the door and >secured it with a password. > >20. General Protection Fault -----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE----- Version: PGPfreeware 6.5.3 for non-commercial use iQA/AwUBOZ3xHeoMko8dOmunEQIWMQCfVC8bdn+ItWDIETh2YGsSTbhrVPcAoMmd 5mG0zRcdTlzGDvJPxJYsBKjD =Ozie -----END PGP SIGNATURE-----