Mail Archives: djgpp/2000/08/19/03:24:41
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OK. I'm unsure if it's allowed to post humor from other lists, but I felt
this was appropriate. At least to me, it sounds familiar...
- --Matt
(please don't hurt me)
>x-mailer: Claris Emailer 1.1
>Approved-By: Cindy Fisher <cfisher AT INTELENET DOT NET>
>Date: Fri, 18 Aug 2000 19:51:13 -0700
>Reply-To: Forum for folks with companion rabbits <PETBUNNY AT lsv DOT uky DOT edu>
>Sender: Forum for folks with companion rabbits <PETBUNNY AT lsv DOT uky DOT edu>
>From: Cindy Fisher <cfisher AT intelenet DOT net>
>Subject: OT: Friday humor
>Comments: To: susan <catmafia AT swbell DOT net>, Helen <oswann AT aol DOT com>,
> Twila <tjparke AT sandia DOT gov>, Chris <callenayce AT aol DOT com>
>To: PETBUNNY AT lsv DOT uky DOT edu
>X-Delivery: Mail.com IDA 1.11
>
>1. In the beginning GOD created the Bit and the Byte. And from those he
>created the Word.
>
>2. And there were two Bytes in the Word; and nothing else existed. And God
>separated the One from the Zero; and he saw it was good.
>
>3. And God said - Let the Data be; And so it happened. And God said-Let
>the Data go to their proper places. And he created floppy disks and hard
>disks and compact disks.
>
>4. And God said - Let the computers be, so there would be a place to put
>floppy disks and hard disks and compact disks. Thus God created computers
>and called them hardware.
>
>5. And there was no Software yet. But God created programs; small and
>big... And told them - Go and multiply yourselves and fill all the Memory.
>
>6. And God said -I will create the Programmer; And the Programmer will
>make new programs and govern over the computers and programs and Data.
>
>7. And God created the Programmer; and put him at Data Center; And God
>showed the Programmer the Catalog Tree and said You can use all the
>volumes and subvolumes but DO NOT USE Windows.
>
>8. And God said - It is not Good for the programmer to be alone. He took a
>bone from the Programmer's body and created a creature that would look up
>at the Programmer; and admire the Programmer; and love the things the
>Programmer does; And God called the creature: the User.
>
>9. And the Programmer and the User were left under the naked DOS and it
>was Good.
>
>10. But Bill was smarter than all the other creatures of God. And Bill
>said to the User - Did God really tell you not to run any programs?
>
>11. And the User answered - God told us that we can use every program and
>every piece of Data but told us not to run Windows or we will die.
>
>12. And Bill said to the User - How can you talk about something you did
>not even try? The moment you run Windows you will become equal to God. You
>will be able to create anything you like by a simple click of your mouse.
>
>13. And the User saw that the fruits of the Windows were nicer and easier
>to use. And the User saw that any knowledge was useless - since Windows
>could replace it.
>
>14. So the User installed the Windows on his computer; and said to the
>Programmer that it was good.
>
>15. And the Programmer immediately started to look for new drivers. And
>God asked him - What are you looking for? And the Programmer answered - I
>am looking for new drivers because I can not find them in the DOS. And
>God
>said - Who told you you need drivers? Did you run Windows? And the
>Programmer said - It was Bill who told us to!
>
>16. And God said to Bill - Because of what you did you will be hated by
>all the creatures. And the User will always be unhappy with you. And you
>will always sell Windows.
>
>17. And God said to the User - Because of what you did, the Windows will
>disappoint you and eat up all your Resources; and you will have to use
>lousy programs; and you will always rely on the Programmer's help.
>
>18. And God said to the Programmer - Because you listened to the User you
>will never be happy. All your programs will have errors and you will have
>to fix them and fix them to the end of time.
>
>19. And God threw them out of the Data Center and locked the door and
>secured it with a password.
>
>20. General Protection Fault
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